| life |
[May. 28th, 2004|07:38 am] |
well not much has been going on... i lived through the relay for life thing, im glad vincent wasent raped by catholic girlys...ar. anyways were doing ok..the big ONE year is comming up for us. Thats crazy im the kind of person that needs things to change all the time, but with him it feels like forever wouldent be long enough =)
I dont know about him though, because theres been a few times where I have been a complete BITCH... i know.. =( im meaan.. but i cant help it, the best feeling in the world is having is atention ( he knows that) anyways ill brb cause im online..and at school |
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| mmm.....vincent. |
[May. 16th, 2004|12:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | smashing pumpkins "this Time" | ] |
my Anger has subsided and turned to sadness...
i cant belive im updating this again tonite but i want someone
to talk to, I wish my baby didnt have his cell phone turned off.
Anyways hope ill be able to get some sleep tonite,ive decided to stay here at my g'mas tryin to keep my mind off things,talk to people online, but.. really its not working because im sitting here and everyone is asleep.. i guess ill down some sleeping pills and do the same later,because theres no way i can sleep.The things that have been said about me keep running through my mind. I was so angry, but now i feel tired and exausted not to mention sad, i hate that word it makes me feel like a pussy. I know i say mean things back but now i realize how low it makes me aswell.Im really caught up in my future because i want to run away from this mess. that i "suppose i caused" says ppl. but if i cant deal then im just going to have to be a looser.aw. .....well midnight and im still here.Damn i feel like a teenager i hate the feeling of young drama. I try to stear clear of it with me and vincent. I tell him thats what kills love. really it does. and now look at me bitching and stressing but give me some slack pleasee. The most beautiful wonderul amazingly smart person in my life is out walking in a circle with chicks that would kill for him. Ahem... ( i know i would )
I bet the reason i love him so much is because i can trust this man.I love it. i love him. So it makes me want to be even more protective of my baby. wow hes really teaching me how to trust, and i bet he knows how hard it is for me. So i hope he wont be upset with me over worrying so much. I know ill get better at this. Or else he just might say forget it and find someone who is waay careless =/ man.. i hope not. Because no one could love vincent as much as i do. hmmmm...Anyways i know if i were telling this to him he would say right now.."shelby dont worry so much, just go lay down and sleep" So i should. Goodnite baby. |
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| arrrr... ........ |
[May. 15th, 2004|06:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Smahing Pumkins, This Time | ] |
Some people are just fuckin stubborn... Im havin a really bad week between school,parents,friends,and my boyfriend. I love him to death, but so does everyone else.so this week he had to go do some relay for life thing. OF corse fat bitch has to go and the ex. i hope vince is having a good time with his girlys.. i wouldent be jealous or pist if i didnt know they wanted him back. I still feel like i have to be at war. I wont fuckin give up. but its hard not to worry about it all the time, no matter how people say :drop it: no one will.You all should know that by now. sighs... im scared this whole thing might end with vince saying "shelby your a jealous bitch" and umm i wanna go back with my prep friends.They all make me feel like im not worthy of him.. and i start to think that way.. should he be back with kayla because shes good enough for him? because hes so perfect? eventhough hes waay hotter then she is.(let me just say that)...anyways the way all these chicks talk makes me feel lesser then i already am. and compared to vince, my baby.. i am. =(
arr... anyways im all sad and worried i dont know whats comming next to slap me in the face? |
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| Lucky |
[Apr. 17th, 2004|09:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  shocked | ] |
Damn what I thought was going to be just a late nite dinner turned out to be
something very different... ok. heres the scence i was sitting for like
an hour waiting for someone to serve my asss some coffee no one showed..i had to get up and go get myself a damn waiter.So I FINALLY got my food which was wack..
so i decided to give them the slip and not pay for shitty food. The get a way was almost perfect only I turned around and saw people writing down our licence plate number.Then i freaked out cops were going to be on our ass..almost home
a cop flips a u turn flashing his lights behind us. so we pull over, at this point were shitting our pants.to make this a long story short the cop says..
"you have a light out on the car"...... and that was it. nothing about grubbing down on a full course meal and taking off. We didnt even get a ticket.
now isnt that just luck? |
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| bein bAd |
[Apr. 2nd, 2004|01:10 pm] |
soooo... here i am another fine weekday of no school....OK
YA im cutting again.. sighs i cant help it. high school has to be the worst thing that has ever been invented.I dont give a shit about history i mean c'mon thats in the past,IT Already happend duh. .
everything is like that i mean math too ok i wont being trying to figure out the square root of something when im grocery shopping um... no.ohh and BYE THE WAY its also a fat farm! America OK dont complain that the so called future generation of teens are getting FAT! we sit in desks for 6 hours a day and then you try to sell us shit that was processed into food.. nuh huh ! i aint havin it. id rather leave and go out to lunch then maybe go back for school..
haha... and here i am sittin here with my tv dinner chowin down on some ravioli mmmmmmm mm.... damn i tell you i havent had the best food in my frige till my cuz came here. my dad all hooks it up with his credit card and me and mike spend about 200 bucks a week on just food for us. <3 were the best team. kickin it with our easy bake chicken strips,i bet we have almost tried every brand now. I told mike hes gonna leave when im all bigger then a blimp and i start to cramp his style. watch he will.. anyways im all tired today its friday and i bet out of this whole week ive only had 5 hours of sleep
its just CraZy so im going to devote this weekend to nothing but sleeping and eating..mmm and drinking.AH... SOUNDS GOOD
<3 PEACE OUT |
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| Confused |
[Mar. 25th, 2004|11:21 pm] |
wow... damn i havent had a journal in a long time.. . But I figured sence its
11:24 at nite and im bored why not make one. Hmm mm so now that I think about it
theres only stupid shit goin on in my world right now. The nice good distraction ive got right now is the fact that my cuz well... more like my best friend rly.. came to stay with me.Hes so tight I wish he could stay here always >=( but
everything good always has to end.I hope he doesnt move toooo far where ever he goes *sighs* but till that sad day im just going to enjoy this and not worry about anything else rite now.. Anywaays... i think ill go bug em rite now =)
byee |
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